Spring Break...A Few Months Late

For spring break this year, I traveled to Jackson, WY to visit my brother for a few days of fun in the snow. I had a lot of time to think on the plane ride. The following is an entry I wrote on my phone's memo app...

As I fly somewhere over the Midwestern states, I am reminded how small an entity I am in the scale of this vast world. My dreams to someday travel the world are more prominent lately. Perhaps that's because I am feeling so restless and in need for a change. The reason of which I am not completely certain. Perhaps it's because I am starting to have a great distaste for my job. Or perhaps it's my heart that is restless because it is uncertain as to what it wants. My mind definitely isn't helping the situation, since they can't get on the same page. I feel disheveled and lost lately. I have some serious thinking to do and I'm not sure if I can or want to make the decisions that I know I need to make. Life sure was a lot more simple when I had someone making most of my decisions for me. Too bad my mom can't just tell me what to do now. It's funny to think that at one time in my life, all I wanted was to make my own decisions and be completely responsible for myself. And now that I have that freedom and responsibility, I wish someone would tell me what I should do so that I don't have to deal with the burden alone.

Some of the decisions I was trying to make a couple of months ago have been solved, but there are still about a million more thoughts running through my head that I need to figure out. It seems that I do my best thinking when I'm on the road, so I'm looking forward to this summer and some solo driving time from Texas to Wyoming and then Wyoming to Georgia.

Social Media and Self Image

Can I first just say that I am thankful for the lack of technology that was available when I was a tween/teen? I mean, seriously. Every time I talk to my almost-thirteen-year-old niece, she has some type of new social media account. That means that I’ve fallen behind on my Aunt Tori duties and make a mental note to download the app(s) and create the account(s). That little girl is, after all, the major reason that I have an Instagram and the only reason that I’ll be visiting the Google Play Store to download the KIK app (I assume it is an app) and whatever else it is that she’s a part of these days. I’m sure the list will only grow over the next few years as she becomes a full-fledged teenager, and when that time comes, I will download whatever crazy social media app she has and I will “follow/friend/like/<3” her.

Speaking of social media, I was perusing my baby girl’s Instagram account earlier tonight and came across a picture of her (a selfie, of course!) and decided to read the comments. BIG MISTAKE for one little boy who decided to share the following: “Rate~8” to which she replied “thx” (that’s teenager for “thanks”). Now, I will admit that I enjoy embarrassing my niece in public by randomly breaking out in song, or trying on the goofiest hat I can find..after all, what are aunts for?!? However, I try not to get too involved when it comes this sort of thing (most of the time she receives positive comments or ones that have nothing to do with the picture) but I was one mad Aunt Tori after seeing that some little punk had rated my niece and that she was (seemingly) accepting of it. When did we start teaching boys that it’s okay to treat young ladies like a piece of meat? And when did we teach said young ladies that it’s perfectly normal for someone to assign you a number? I mean, seriously?!? Numbers are for math, not for “complimenting” someone. We are so much more than just a number. I know my niece sure as hell is. She is a STRAIGHT-A student. She is a fun, life-loving, hug-giving, selfie-taking, oboe-playing girl. G.I.R.L. She is a girl. She is only 12 years old. Maybe I’m overreacting because when I look at her, I still see the 2-year-old with pig tails that I used to cover with “Aunt Tori kisses” and take to Chuck E. Cheese’s. She will forever be my little girl, and it hurts my hurt to know that she thinks it’s okay for some boy to describe her using a number. Did I mention that this same beautiful young lady is struggling with her self-image? She stopped eating because she felt that she was “too fat” when comparing herself to her friends and classmates. She is 5’ tall and wears a size 0. She has a booty and curves, much like I did at her age, and for this, she feels she is “fat.” She has 16-year-old boys checking her out at the beach, but she thinks she is “fat.” She is currently on a beach trip with a friend and a friend-of-the-friend and told my sister she wanted to come home because her “friends” were comparing her to them and telling her she’s “bigger” than them and couldn’t borrow any of their clothes because she “wouldn’t fit in them” and that she should get the top bunk because she was “bigger” than them and they could share the bottom bed. Part of me wants to smack talk to them to let them know that words can hurt and they need to think before they speak. Then there’s the other part of me that wonders if she is taking what they said too personally. I mean, honestly, I’d rather have a bed to myself and not have to share, wouldn't you? Did they really just mean that she’d be more comfortable on the top bunk alone because she really is “bigger” than them?

She has a good head on her shoulders, and (usually) makes good decisions, so why in the world is she not able to comprehend how wonderful, beautiful, and amazing she is? Why can’t she listen to her own voice instead of worrying about what some boy on Instagram tells her? Why does she think it’s perfectly normal for a boy to label her with a number like a price tag ? I can tell you one thing for sure.. that girl is priceless. I believe it was Dr. Seuss who said something along the lines of “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  I just don’t understand. Growing up, I remember having times when I felt “ugly” or “fat” but never did I think that starving myself was the answer. I’m sure I had boys (and probably girls, too) that labeled me, but I knew that at the end of the day, it was the way I felt about myself that truly mattered. I sure as heck didn’t hang out with people who made me think less of myself. And I hope that I never made anyone feel badly about themselves. Children today are growing up WAY too fast, both physically and emotionally. They aren’t taking time to be kids and enjoy having care-free lives; they’re too worried about where their next selfie will come from or how many followers they have on Instagram. Social media is taking over their lives and consuming their free time. I fully admit that sometimes I am on my phone too much. I like to check in on Facebook and see what’s going on in everyone else’s lives. I enjoy checking out my friends’ pictures on Instagram. The difference is I do not turn to these modes of social media for acceptance or self-worth. And I do not know how to get my niece to understand that there is so much more to life than what some little boy says about her Instagram picture or how many followers she has. I want her to enjoy middle school and I want her to realize what an amazing young lady she is. I want her to love herself and accept herself. Above all, I want her to be a kid and enjoy the freedom that comes along with that.

Moral of the story: Be yourself, love yourself, and discard anyone in your life who is not willing to do the same.

Summer Fun

Well, this has definitely been an interesting summer visit home. The boyfriend traveled with me to Georgia to meet my family and I swear we did more in the 12 days he was here than I've done on any vacation. Here's what our 12 days together in Georgia looked like:

Friday 11:00 pm we arrived at my parents' house (he met them for the first time) and we went to sleep

Saturday we spent time with my brother and his family, who were in town from SC for his high school reunion

Sunday was Father's Day so we went to see my dad, where Justin (the boy) met my dad and stepmom, we had lunch, looked at some horses, and did a little target practice

Monday we had lunch with my sister and then the boy and I went to the Mall of Georgia and did some shopping before I introduced him to Zaxby's (where he fell in love)

Tuesday we went to the Georgia Aquarium and had dinner at The Varsity

Wednesday we went to White Water, where my mom and stepdad saved us $20 by dropping us off and picking us up (I totally felt like I was back in high school). Then we spent some quality time with a few of my friends and their boyfriends playing Cards Against Humanity(L.O.V.E it!).

Thursday we helped my mom clean the church, ran by Wal-Mart and the grocery store to get stuff for camping, packed everything into my mom's SUV and drove to NC where we spent the next 3 days tubing down the creek, roasting marshmallows, and climbing waterfalls.

Sunday afternoon on the way home we stopped at a couple of apple houses in North Georgia where we picked up fried fruit pies, dried apples, and other locally-made goodies. That evening we unpacked and went to my sister's house for dinner with her family and one of my other brother's families. On the way home, I was asked how I grew up to be so "normal." Ha!

Monday we had breakfast at one of my favorite breakfast places, Burger Inn, then went to Six Flags and rode (almost) everything and left right before the bottom fell out of the sky.

Tuesday we spent the day with my dad and stepmom, checking out the horses and practicing our shooting. 

Wednesday the boy left to go back to Texas and work. Lame!! 

Are you tired yet?!? Because I sure was exhausted from doing all the "touristy" stuff, but had a great time showing Justin around my home town and I think he understand now why I will always be a Georgia girl. 

(Almost) The End of Summer

Well, summer is almost over and my 3 1/2 week trip to Georgia turned into 6 weeks. Once I got home, I realized how much I had missed it and just couldn't leave. With that said, Kaitlyn didn't come see me so I didn't get to introduce her to Georgia. We also didn't get to do everything on our summer bucket list in Texas, but we did visit Port Aransas, go fishing, have lunch at the Bear Moon Cafe, and do some Pinterest crafts. A lot of the other stuff that we had planned can be done on the weekend, so there's still time to get those done. 

 Every summer since I can remember, my family has been going camping at the same place in North Carolina. This year, we went for a day trip and had a great time rafting down the rapids and swimming in the ice-cold water. Top Left- My brother in law; Middle Left- My Mama; Bottom Left and Right- My Niece; Bottom Center- My sister;  Top Right- My best friend :)

 I visited my best friend and her husband in Odessa for a few days and we took a trip to Monahans Sandhills. I've never seen so much sand before. That's all you could see forever. While there, we watched a couple of storms roll in and witnessed a couple of cool lightning shows. 

 A couple of weeks ago, I visited my first Texas beach, Port Aransas. It was also the first time in about 2 years that I have been to the beach and I went fishing for the first time in probably a dozen years. The sun and the sand were great therapy. 

 These are some of the flippin' adorable T-shirt pillows that I made for my classroom this year. I made 6 total, and hope my kiddos love them as much as I do!

 I bought this dresser a few years back from Ikea and decided to Mod Podge the drawers with some scrapbook paper to make it cuter, because everything in my classroom has to be cute! In this picture, the original knobs are still on, but I bought some cute turquoise flower knobs and it looks even more adorable now. 

So, even thought I didn't get through everything on my Summer Bucket List, I had a great summer. I got to spend lots of time with my Mama while she was recovering from her total knee replacement surgery and had the chance to see some of my friends as well. I know that I didn't get a chance to see everyone that I wanted, but there's always Thanksgiving and Christmas. :)  

Summer Bucket List: Georgia

A few weeks ago, I posted my Texas Summer Bucket List of all the fun things that Kaitlyn and I want to do this summer so that I can experience all things Texas. We were talking the other day and it looks like I am going to get to introduce Kaitlyn to Georgia this summer as well! I am super excited to take her home and introduce her to my family and friends. I will be home for 3 weeks, and Kaitlyn will be joining me for a few days my last week there, then we are driving back to Texas together, making a pit stop in New Orleans on the way. As I was thinking about all of the "Georgia" things I want Kaitlyn to experience, I decided I would come up with a list for that as well. Also, I am terrible at remember anything, so lists are good for me. Here is what I have so far...

Centennial Olympic Park
The Varsity
The Big Chicken
Downtown Marietta
Downtown Woodstock
My Grandparents Home
Georgia Aquarium
White Water
The Fox Theater
Amicalola Falls
Savannah
Stone Mountain

What we actually get done depends on how long she will be there with me, but I am super excited to introduce Kaitlyn to Georgia. Especially since she has done such a fabulous just introducing me to everything Texas. Speaking of which, I know I've been in Texas too long... I was craving a breakfast taco today. I had never eaten a breakfast taco up until a few months ago... I need a Georgia fix! <3

Extreme Randomness

Wow! I can't believe it's been seven months since my last post. This (school) year has flown by and a lot of changes have occurred since September. Let's see.. I bought my very first brand-spankin-new car on New Year's Eve and love it! I got a 2013 Toyota Corolla. It had a whopping 5 miles on it when I drove it off the lot. After driving back to Texas and a trip home, it has quite a bit more miles on it now, but I still love it. I also moved into my own apartment. It's the first time I have had my very own apartment and I am enjoying every minute of it. It's sometimes a bit too quiet and lonely, but it's also soooo great knowing that it's alllll mine! Needless to say, I've spent a pretty penny buying furniture and cutesy decorations, but it just looks so damn pretty I can't stop decorating. :)

About 10 weeks ago, I started my journey to a healthier me and joined the gym. My thyroid disease makes weight loss super hard, but I've lost about 10 pounds and am slowly seeing results. My cousin also got me hooked on body wraps by It Works and I have lost a couple of inches in my waist with the help of those puppies. If you want to try them, go visit my cousin's Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/ItWorksPancotti. My progress is slow, but I'm getting there! 

Sorry this post is all over the place. There's just so much that I need to get out of my brain. So, now on to my other randomness.. 

I have asked myself a few times why I was sent 1,000 miles away from my family and friends, besides to start my teaching career. Sometimes I wonder if I was sent out here to meet my soul mate. Sometimes I think I just needed a break from everything that was my life back home. As far as the soul mate business goes, I read something once (gotta love Pinterest!) about soul mates and, well, here it is: 

I don't know if I was sent here to meet my "romantic" soul mate, but I have definitely met a soul mate. Kaitlyn is another newbie this year in 5th grade, and I don't know what I would do without her. She has helped introduce me to everything Texas, including Texas Country music (Josh Abbott and Randy Rogers Band),  Cabela's, breakfast tacos, and I'm sure there's more that I can't think of right now. Most importantly, she has helped me remember how fun it is to be a single twenty-something. I had been in a relationship (well, 2 different relationships) from the time I was 18 until I was 23. I hadn't really had the chance to enjoy being a twenty-something because my most recent relationship drained everything out of me, especially my happiness and energy. Kaitlyn is helping me make up those missed years (and then some!) that were spent in a less-than-stellar relationship. I have my moments when I wish I had someone to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie with, or to take care of me when I don't feel good, or to go walk River Walk with, holding hands with the occasional PDA, but there's also great things about single, too. I get to go out whenever I want and not have to worry about someone getting his panties in a bunch over it. I spend all my money on myself. I'm not paying someone else's way. I'm not raising a grown man, and most importantly, I can honestly say that I am happy with my life.

Going back to Kailtyn introducing me to Texas, while we were walking through a local park the other day, we came up with a summer bucket list. These are all things we want to do this summer, and my plan is to write about our adventures on here: 

Visit Port Aransas  
Go to Guadalupe River State Park
Float the River at Don's
Enchanted Rock
Kayaking
Horseback Riding
Buy mountain bikes and go for a long ride
Day Hike
Hamilton Pool
Fishing
Old Town Helotes
Crafting (PINTEREST!!!!)
San Antonio Zoo
Bear Moon Cafe
Wii Sports
Get Sexy, Get Tan, and Get Drunk

I am sure we will add to the list, but that's enough to get us started at least. We will, after all, have two and a half months to partake in all sorts of adventures! 

Soooo excited for this summer! Only 35 more days of school including one Early Release day, Field Day, testing days, and 5th grade graduation. I'm not sure who is more ready for summer; me or the kiddos. Perhaps we are equally ready. :)

Just a Georgia Girl, Livin' in a Texas World

I was looking back at my previous post and realized that (once again) I haven't posted in a while. A lot has happened since I got my tattoo two months ago. Last month, I celebrated my Grandpa's birthday (Aug. 6) by getting a phone call from a school district in Texas that I had applied to several months before asking if I was interested in a 5th grade position. After my initial response of telling the secretary that I was still in Georgia, I called back and said that I was in fact interested and set-up a phone interview for the next morning. Needless to say, I was super nervous and excited for the rest of the day. I wasn't feeling too confident after my interview, but I guess what they say is right; you are your biggest critic. I was told that I would hear back within the week with a decision, so I was super excited when I got the phone call the next day from Human Resources offering me the job. I was in shock. I was at home with my niece, and couldn't help but shed a few tears when I told her that I would be moving all the way to Texas. After calling my mom in tears to tell her that I got the job, I visited my sister at her job to tell her, unable to hold back the tears. My next move was to fill out my resignation at the grocery store that I had been working at for 4.5 years. I am not sure if I was more ecstatic about finally starting my teaching career or finally getting out of customer service. The next week and a half was full of packing, visiting family and friends, and more packing.

I have now been in Texas for three weeks and just finished my second week of teaching 5th grade. Even though I miss my family and friends back home, I am content with my decision to take the job. I have come to realize that I am lucky to have amazing friends, (without my  best friend's brother, I would've had to find an apartment in a week and a half while still living 1100 miles away) a great team at work, and a pretty good group of students. I can't wait to see what this first year of teaching has in store for me. 

If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough!