Spring Break...A Few Months Late

For spring break this year, I traveled to Jackson, WY to visit my brother for a few days of fun in the snow. I had a lot of time to think on the plane ride. The following is an entry I wrote on my phone's memo app...

As I fly somewhere over the Midwestern states, I am reminded how small an entity I am in the scale of this vast world. My dreams to someday travel the world are more prominent lately. Perhaps that's because I am feeling so restless and in need for a change. The reason of which I am not completely certain. Perhaps it's because I am starting to have a great distaste for my job. Or perhaps it's my heart that is restless because it is uncertain as to what it wants. My mind definitely isn't helping the situation, since they can't get on the same page. I feel disheveled and lost lately. I have some serious thinking to do and I'm not sure if I can or want to make the decisions that I know I need to make. Life sure was a lot more simple when I had someone making most of my decisions for me. Too bad my mom can't just tell me what to do now. It's funny to think that at one time in my life, all I wanted was to make my own decisions and be completely responsible for myself. And now that I have that freedom and responsibility, I wish someone would tell me what I should do so that I don't have to deal with the burden alone.

Some of the decisions I was trying to make a couple of months ago have been solved, but there are still about a million more thoughts running through my head that I need to figure out. It seems that I do my best thinking when I'm on the road, so I'm looking forward to this summer and some solo driving time from Texas to Wyoming and then Wyoming to Georgia.

Social Media and Self Image

Can I first just say that I am thankful for the lack of technology that was available when I was a tween/teen? I mean, seriously. Every time I talk to my almost-thirteen-year-old niece, she has some type of new social media account. That means that I’ve fallen behind on my Aunt Tori duties and make a mental note to download the app(s) and create the account(s). That little girl is, after all, the major reason that I have an Instagram and the only reason that I’ll be visiting the Google Play Store to download the KIK app (I assume it is an app) and whatever else it is that she’s a part of these days. I’m sure the list will only grow over the next few years as she becomes a full-fledged teenager, and when that time comes, I will download whatever crazy social media app she has and I will “follow/friend/like/<3” her.

Speaking of social media, I was perusing my baby girl’s Instagram account earlier tonight and came across a picture of her (a selfie, of course!) and decided to read the comments. BIG MISTAKE for one little boy who decided to share the following: “Rate~8” to which she replied “thx” (that’s teenager for “thanks”). Now, I will admit that I enjoy embarrassing my niece in public by randomly breaking out in song, or trying on the goofiest hat I can find..after all, what are aunts for?!? However, I try not to get too involved when it comes this sort of thing (most of the time she receives positive comments or ones that have nothing to do with the picture) but I was one mad Aunt Tori after seeing that some little punk had rated my niece and that she was (seemingly) accepting of it. When did we start teaching boys that it’s okay to treat young ladies like a piece of meat? And when did we teach said young ladies that it’s perfectly normal for someone to assign you a number? I mean, seriously?!? Numbers are for math, not for “complimenting” someone. We are so much more than just a number. I know my niece sure as hell is. She is a STRAIGHT-A student. She is a fun, life-loving, hug-giving, selfie-taking, oboe-playing girl. G.I.R.L. She is a girl. She is only 12 years old. Maybe I’m overreacting because when I look at her, I still see the 2-year-old with pig tails that I used to cover with “Aunt Tori kisses” and take to Chuck E. Cheese’s. She will forever be my little girl, and it hurts my hurt to know that she thinks it’s okay for some boy to describe her using a number. Did I mention that this same beautiful young lady is struggling with her self-image? She stopped eating because she felt that she was “too fat” when comparing herself to her friends and classmates. She is 5’ tall and wears a size 0. She has a booty and curves, much like I did at her age, and for this, she feels she is “fat.” She has 16-year-old boys checking her out at the beach, but she thinks she is “fat.” She is currently on a beach trip with a friend and a friend-of-the-friend and told my sister she wanted to come home because her “friends” were comparing her to them and telling her she’s “bigger” than them and couldn’t borrow any of their clothes because she “wouldn’t fit in them” and that she should get the top bunk because she was “bigger” than them and they could share the bottom bed. Part of me wants to smack talk to them to let them know that words can hurt and they need to think before they speak. Then there’s the other part of me that wonders if she is taking what they said too personally. I mean, honestly, I’d rather have a bed to myself and not have to share, wouldn't you? Did they really just mean that she’d be more comfortable on the top bunk alone because she really is “bigger” than them?

She has a good head on her shoulders, and (usually) makes good decisions, so why in the world is she not able to comprehend how wonderful, beautiful, and amazing she is? Why can’t she listen to her own voice instead of worrying about what some boy on Instagram tells her? Why does she think it’s perfectly normal for a boy to label her with a number like a price tag ? I can tell you one thing for sure.. that girl is priceless. I believe it was Dr. Seuss who said something along the lines of “Those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”  I just don’t understand. Growing up, I remember having times when I felt “ugly” or “fat” but never did I think that starving myself was the answer. I’m sure I had boys (and probably girls, too) that labeled me, but I knew that at the end of the day, it was the way I felt about myself that truly mattered. I sure as heck didn’t hang out with people who made me think less of myself. And I hope that I never made anyone feel badly about themselves. Children today are growing up WAY too fast, both physically and emotionally. They aren’t taking time to be kids and enjoy having care-free lives; they’re too worried about where their next selfie will come from or how many followers they have on Instagram. Social media is taking over their lives and consuming their free time. I fully admit that sometimes I am on my phone too much. I like to check in on Facebook and see what’s going on in everyone else’s lives. I enjoy checking out my friends’ pictures on Instagram. The difference is I do not turn to these modes of social media for acceptance or self-worth. And I do not know how to get my niece to understand that there is so much more to life than what some little boy says about her Instagram picture or how many followers she has. I want her to enjoy middle school and I want her to realize what an amazing young lady she is. I want her to love herself and accept herself. Above all, I want her to be a kid and enjoy the freedom that comes along with that.

Moral of the story: Be yourself, love yourself, and discard anyone in your life who is not willing to do the same.

Summer Fun

Well, this has definitely been an interesting summer visit home. The boyfriend traveled with me to Georgia to meet my family and I swear we did more in the 12 days he was here than I've done on any vacation. Here's what our 12 days together in Georgia looked like:

Friday 11:00 pm we arrived at my parents' house (he met them for the first time) and we went to sleep

Saturday we spent time with my brother and his family, who were in town from SC for his high school reunion

Sunday was Father's Day so we went to see my dad, where Justin (the boy) met my dad and stepmom, we had lunch, looked at some horses, and did a little target practice

Monday we had lunch with my sister and then the boy and I went to the Mall of Georgia and did some shopping before I introduced him to Zaxby's (where he fell in love)

Tuesday we went to the Georgia Aquarium and had dinner at The Varsity

Wednesday we went to White Water, where my mom and stepdad saved us $20 by dropping us off and picking us up (I totally felt like I was back in high school). Then we spent some quality time with a few of my friends and their boyfriends playing Cards Against Humanity(L.O.V.E it!).

Thursday we helped my mom clean the church, ran by Wal-Mart and the grocery store to get stuff for camping, packed everything into my mom's SUV and drove to NC where we spent the next 3 days tubing down the creek, roasting marshmallows, and climbing waterfalls.

Sunday afternoon on the way home we stopped at a couple of apple houses in North Georgia where we picked up fried fruit pies, dried apples, and other locally-made goodies. That evening we unpacked and went to my sister's house for dinner with her family and one of my other brother's families. On the way home, I was asked how I grew up to be so "normal." Ha!

Monday we had breakfast at one of my favorite breakfast places, Burger Inn, then went to Six Flags and rode (almost) everything and left right before the bottom fell out of the sky.

Tuesday we spent the day with my dad and stepmom, checking out the horses and practicing our shooting. 

Wednesday the boy left to go back to Texas and work. Lame!! 

Are you tired yet?!? Because I sure was exhausted from doing all the "touristy" stuff, but had a great time showing Justin around my home town and I think he understand now why I will always be a Georgia girl. 

(Almost) The End of Summer

Well, summer is almost over and my 3 1/2 week trip to Georgia turned into 6 weeks. Once I got home, I realized how much I had missed it and just couldn't leave. With that said, Kaitlyn didn't come see me so I didn't get to introduce her to Georgia. We also didn't get to do everything on our summer bucket list in Texas, but we did visit Port Aransas, go fishing, have lunch at the Bear Moon Cafe, and do some Pinterest crafts. A lot of the other stuff that we had planned can be done on the weekend, so there's still time to get those done. 

 Every summer since I can remember, my family has been going camping at the same place in North Carolina. This year, we went for a day trip and had a great time rafting down the rapids and swimming in the ice-cold water. Top Left- My brother in law; Middle Left- My Mama; Bottom Left and Right- My Niece; Bottom Center- My sister;  Top Right- My best friend :)

 I visited my best friend and her husband in Odessa for a few days and we took a trip to Monahans Sandhills. I've never seen so much sand before. That's all you could see forever. While there, we watched a couple of storms roll in and witnessed a couple of cool lightning shows. 

 A couple of weeks ago, I visited my first Texas beach, Port Aransas. It was also the first time in about 2 years that I have been to the beach and I went fishing for the first time in probably a dozen years. The sun and the sand were great therapy. 

 These are some of the flippin' adorable T-shirt pillows that I made for my classroom this year. I made 6 total, and hope my kiddos love them as much as I do!

 I bought this dresser a few years back from Ikea and decided to Mod Podge the drawers with some scrapbook paper to make it cuter, because everything in my classroom has to be cute! In this picture, the original knobs are still on, but I bought some cute turquoise flower knobs and it looks even more adorable now. 

So, even thought I didn't get through everything on my Summer Bucket List, I had a great summer. I got to spend lots of time with my Mama while she was recovering from her total knee replacement surgery and had the chance to see some of my friends as well. I know that I didn't get a chance to see everyone that I wanted, but there's always Thanksgiving and Christmas. :)  

Summer Bucket List: Georgia

A few weeks ago, I posted my Texas Summer Bucket List of all the fun things that Kaitlyn and I want to do this summer so that I can experience all things Texas. We were talking the other day and it looks like I am going to get to introduce Kaitlyn to Georgia this summer as well! I am super excited to take her home and introduce her to my family and friends. I will be home for 3 weeks, and Kaitlyn will be joining me for a few days my last week there, then we are driving back to Texas together, making a pit stop in New Orleans on the way. As I was thinking about all of the "Georgia" things I want Kaitlyn to experience, I decided I would come up with a list for that as well. Also, I am terrible at remember anything, so lists are good for me. Here is what I have so far...

Centennial Olympic Park
The Varsity
The Big Chicken
Downtown Marietta
Downtown Woodstock
My Grandparents Home
Georgia Aquarium
White Water
The Fox Theater
Amicalola Falls
Savannah
Stone Mountain

What we actually get done depends on how long she will be there with me, but I am super excited to introduce Kaitlyn to Georgia. Especially since she has done such a fabulous just introducing me to everything Texas. Speaking of which, I know I've been in Texas too long... I was craving a breakfast taco today. I had never eaten a breakfast taco up until a few months ago... I need a Georgia fix! <3

Extreme Randomness

Wow! I can't believe it's been seven months since my last post. This (school) year has flown by and a lot of changes have occurred since September. Let's see.. I bought my very first brand-spankin-new car on New Year's Eve and love it! I got a 2013 Toyota Corolla. It had a whopping 5 miles on it when I drove it off the lot. After driving back to Texas and a trip home, it has quite a bit more miles on it now, but I still love it. I also moved into my own apartment. It's the first time I have had my very own apartment and I am enjoying every minute of it. It's sometimes a bit too quiet and lonely, but it's also soooo great knowing that it's alllll mine! Needless to say, I've spent a pretty penny buying furniture and cutesy decorations, but it just looks so damn pretty I can't stop decorating. :)

About 10 weeks ago, I started my journey to a healthier me and joined the gym. My thyroid disease makes weight loss super hard, but I've lost about 10 pounds and am slowly seeing results. My cousin also got me hooked on body wraps by It Works and I have lost a couple of inches in my waist with the help of those puppies. If you want to try them, go visit my cousin's Facebook page:  https://www.facebook.com/ItWorksPancotti. My progress is slow, but I'm getting there! 

Sorry this post is all over the place. There's just so much that I need to get out of my brain. So, now on to my other randomness.. 

I have asked myself a few times why I was sent 1,000 miles away from my family and friends, besides to start my teaching career. Sometimes I wonder if I was sent out here to meet my soul mate. Sometimes I think I just needed a break from everything that was my life back home. As far as the soul mate business goes, I read something once (gotta love Pinterest!) about soul mates and, well, here it is: 

I don't know if I was sent here to meet my "romantic" soul mate, but I have definitely met a soul mate. Kaitlyn is another newbie this year in 5th grade, and I don't know what I would do without her. She has helped introduce me to everything Texas, including Texas Country music (Josh Abbott and Randy Rogers Band),  Cabela's, breakfast tacos, and I'm sure there's more that I can't think of right now. Most importantly, she has helped me remember how fun it is to be a single twenty-something. I had been in a relationship (well, 2 different relationships) from the time I was 18 until I was 23. I hadn't really had the chance to enjoy being a twenty-something because my most recent relationship drained everything out of me, especially my happiness and energy. Kaitlyn is helping me make up those missed years (and then some!) that were spent in a less-than-stellar relationship. I have my moments when I wish I had someone to snuggle on the couch and watch a movie with, or to take care of me when I don't feel good, or to go walk River Walk with, holding hands with the occasional PDA, but there's also great things about single, too. I get to go out whenever I want and not have to worry about someone getting his panties in a bunch over it. I spend all my money on myself. I'm not paying someone else's way. I'm not raising a grown man, and most importantly, I can honestly say that I am happy with my life.

Going back to Kailtyn introducing me to Texas, while we were walking through a local park the other day, we came up with a summer bucket list. These are all things we want to do this summer, and my plan is to write about our adventures on here: 

Visit Port Aransas  
Go to Guadalupe River State Park
Float the River at Don's
Enchanted Rock
Kayaking
Horseback Riding
Buy mountain bikes and go for a long ride
Day Hike
Hamilton Pool
Fishing
Old Town Helotes
Crafting (PINTEREST!!!!)
San Antonio Zoo
Bear Moon Cafe
Wii Sports
Get Sexy, Get Tan, and Get Drunk

I am sure we will add to the list, but that's enough to get us started at least. We will, after all, have two and a half months to partake in all sorts of adventures! 

Soooo excited for this summer! Only 35 more days of school including one Early Release day, Field Day, testing days, and 5th grade graduation. I'm not sure who is more ready for summer; me or the kiddos. Perhaps we are equally ready. :)

Just a Georgia Girl, Livin' in a Texas World

I was looking back at my previous post and realized that (once again) I haven't posted in a while. A lot has happened since I got my tattoo two months ago. Last month, I celebrated my Grandpa's birthday (Aug. 6) by getting a phone call from a school district in Texas that I had applied to several months before asking if I was interested in a 5th grade position. After my initial response of telling the secretary that I was still in Georgia, I called back and said that I was in fact interested and set-up a phone interview for the next morning. Needless to say, I was super nervous and excited for the rest of the day. I wasn't feeling too confident after my interview, but I guess what they say is right; you are your biggest critic. I was told that I would hear back within the week with a decision, so I was super excited when I got the phone call the next day from Human Resources offering me the job. I was in shock. I was at home with my niece, and couldn't help but shed a few tears when I told her that I would be moving all the way to Texas. After calling my mom in tears to tell her that I got the job, I visited my sister at her job to tell her, unable to hold back the tears. My next move was to fill out my resignation at the grocery store that I had been working at for 4.5 years. I am not sure if I was more ecstatic about finally starting my teaching career or finally getting out of customer service. The next week and a half was full of packing, visiting family and friends, and more packing.

I have now been in Texas for three weeks and just finished my second week of teaching 5th grade. Even though I miss my family and friends back home, I am content with my decision to take the job. I have come to realize that I am lucky to have amazing friends, (without my  best friend's brother, I would've had to find an apartment in a week and a half while still living 1100 miles away) a great team at work, and a pretty good group of students. I can't wait to see what this first year of teaching has in store for me. 

If your dreams don't scare you, they aren't big enough! 

My First Tattoo

Today I celebrate my best friend, Liza, and my Grandma. These two very special ladies share the same birthday, just 40-something years apart... I can't celebrate today with Liza because she is in Texas, and I can't celebrate with Gma because she is spending this birthday the same way she has for the last couple of years; in Heaven with Gpa. I have wished both of them Happy Birthday on Facebook, and will probably call Liza in a little bit, but I am celebrating Gma's birthday in a very different way. I am going to get my first tattoo tonight. It will be very special to me because it will be a memorial tattoo for my Gma. I am super excited and nervous at the same time, being it my first tat and all. I am also nervous because I am getting it on my left wrist, so I get to watch the whole thing. Good thing needles don't bother me! I will post pictures later tonight! :)

Update: Here is my first tattoo, along with a picture of my beautiful Grandma.

Hashi-What?!?

OK, so it's been a heck of a long time since I updated last, but back in one of my first few posts, I mentioned something about Thyroid Disease. Well, I went to the endocrinologist about a month ago to have my thyroid levels checked and it turns out I have hypothyroidism caused by an autoimmune disease called Hashimoto's.. Basically, my body is producing antibodies that are attacking my thyroid, not allowing it to work properly. This means that I get to take a little pill everyday until forever. Hopefully this also means that within the next 6 weeks or so my weight will at least start to get back to a more normal number so that I am not so discouraged with my diet and exercise routine..

While I am here, I figured that I would continue with The List as well. As usual, I am skipping around, so this time I am doing number 22: Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?

5  years: Age 28

In five years, I hope to be living somewhere besides where I currently live (perhaps by the beach somewhere?!?). I will love my job as a teacher and I will be in happily married to someone who is talk, dark, and handsome (with a successful job).  Perhaps even have a little one. Oh, and have a "new" car. 

10 years: Age 33

First off, I would have had one heck of a 30th birthday party! I will still be teaching and married to my TD&H man. By now, I will have a couple of little ones and that new car has been traded for a Mommy vehicle (SUV, not van). We have a nice house with some land for the little ones to play. 

15 years: Age 38

By now, I hope that I have visited a couple of the places on my traveling list (Paris, Greece, Italy, Spain, and so on). I am still enjoying being a teacher and will be attending my 20-year HS reunion with my TD&H husband. Our kids are growing up too fast and we are enjoying every minute with them. 

I hope you have enjoyed time traveling into the future with me. Goodnight. :)

A Few Firsts

Soo, it's been a long minute since my last post but don't worry, nothing too exciting has happened since then. Actually, I take that back; last week I had a few firsts: I visited The Melting Pot restaurant for the first time and had the most amazingly yummy dessert EVER. When the (very cute) waiter brought out the pot of chocolate Heaven, it was in the design of a Yin and Yang. It was freakin awesome! I also attended a Braves game with a couple of my favorite guy friends for the first time in almost two years, and afterwards we went to a strip club (my first time!). I was very impressed by some of those girls' moves.. it was a bit insane! Anyway, I also participated in my very first corn hole tournament this weekend, and had a great time! If y'all don't know what the h-e-double hockey sticks corn hole is, don't worry, because I had no idea what it was until I witnessed it yesterday. Basically, it is like a bean-bag toss only you are aiming for one hole in a slanted board and you play with a partner against another team. Your points depend on where on the board your bag lands; 3 points foor getting in in the hole and one point for landing on the board. These people were legit; they had 3 sets of boards, team brackets, and everything. We had a corn hole tournament. Just saying it makes me feel super country. And man, it was pretty fun! My partner and I were both newbies, but we actually did pretty decent.

This blog initially started out as a place for me to track my weight loss journey, but since there has been none of that taking place, it has become more of a place for me to work on The List. So, since I can't report any weight loss happenings, I am going to continue with The List. This time I am going to number 9: List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.

As soon as I saw this prompt, a few people popped into my head. Now, I am not sure if I can come up with 10, but I will try. Also, I could go on and on about these special people in my life, but I am going to keep it short and sweet. Here goes..

1. My sister, Becci has taught me to never let anyone hold me back and to always shoot for the stars.

2. My mom is the greatest. She is currently fighting a rare autoimmune disease, but she refuses to give up on anything in her life, including her children (no matter how much we drive her crazy) and herself. She may not have too much physical strength these days, but she is one seriously strong lady.

3. My Gma is my guardian angel and guides me everyday. Even though I can't see her anymore, I know that she is always with me and believes in me. She always valued education and encouraged me to do my best.

4. Gpa is my other guardian angel and worked his @$$ off everyday of his life to provide for his family. He never received a degree, but was one of the smartest men that I knew. He could find the area of any object and was my go-to for geometry. He was a real man.

5. My siblings (all 4 of them) have really taught me a lot. I have learned lessons from them on what to do as well as what not to do.

6. Watching my niece and nephews grow up has taught me to savor every minute that I have with them, and with my children in the future because one day I will blink and they will be as tall as me, with "boyfriends" and "girlfriends." And there is nothing that I can do to stop it.

7. All of the students and teachers that I have encountered over the past few years in my field experiences have helped me to realize how much I love teaching and I look forward to having my own classroom. I feel at home when I am teaching, no matter how much those little darlings may drive me nuts some days.

8. My ex taught me that no one is worth losing myself. I tried my damnedest to "save" him and lost so much of myself over the years. He taught me that I can't save everyone, and that a person has to want to better himself in order for anyone to be able to help him. Some people are just happy being miserable. Well, not me.

9. I have taught myself that I am stronger than I give myself credit for.

10. My best friends have taught me the true meaning of friendship and that true friends are there for you when you need them, even if they live a few states away. <3

There you have it; the people that have influenced my life. Is there someone special that has influenced your life? Or perhaps someone not-so-special that had a negative influence in your life? Just some food for thought..

Lazy Bones

Man, oh man, I love lazy Sundays! Slept in until about 11:00 and haven't done anything productive yet, except eat a yummy strawberry, banana, mango smoothie; yummy! BUT, I am about to get off my butt and get my work-out on! I was going to continue The List, but I was looking through my remaining questions and didn't really find anything that I am in the mood for writing about, so I am just going to skip it for now. Well, I suppose it is time to get going! I hope everyone enjoys their Sunday. <3

Strenghts and Weaknesses

Monday was my first day "back" at Publix and after two late shifts in a row, I have decided that I am so very ready for this summer and Texas. I had the intention of getting my fingerprints done today but got to the city police station only to discover that I have to go to the county to get them done and just spent almost 45 minutes trying to print some tickets for my sister but the darn printer won't work and I am hella frustrated and don't feel like going down town, so I guess I will just get up early Friday and do it before my sub job. Ugh!!

Nothing too excited since last week; hope everyone had a good Easter and got to spend the day with family and friends!

Now, continuing with The List, I am going to combine two: 5 Strengths and 5 Weaknesses. Here goes...

5 Strengths

1. Confidence
2. Independence
3. Organization
4. Helpful
5. Sense of Humor (Smart Ass runs in my family!)

5 Weaknesses

1. I tend to try to "save" people, forgetting about myself in the mix.
2. I am stubborn
3. I have a huge sweet tooth
4. I tend to be a people please and often take on too much at one time
5. Guys with dark hair/skin and light eyes (esp. green) and abs. hehe :-P

Shin Splints?!?

Well, hello! I feel super because the last few days I have worked out and actually have some energy. Yesterday I walked/jogged 1.5 miles and then did 30 minutes on the elliptical and today I jogged most of the 1.5 miles. I have noticed this weird pain in my shins when I jog, as if they are just going to snap, which probably isn't normal, so I usually walk more than I jog. I should probably get that looked at...

Anyway, continuing with the List, here is Number 11: 10 Pet Peeves

1. Messy people

2. Disorganization

3. People calling me "Vikki" or "Tori" that haven't earned the right to call me either of those names.

4. Bratty/ disrespectful kids.

5. Poor customer service

6. People trying to tell me how to do my job that have no idea how to do my job.

7. Parents that don't parent their children

8. Borrowing my stuff without asking and/or not putting it back where you got it

9. Kids answering "what?" "yeah" or "uh-huh" when asked a question. At least say "yes."

10. The sound of drills. It makes my teeth cringe.

I am sure that there are other things that I can't think of for now, so to quote Porky Pig, That's All Folks!

Woot Woot!

Two days in a row?!? I think that's a record for me. :-)

Since my last post made me cry (and probably you as well) I decided to choose something from The List that was a bit more on the happy side. So, I am doing number 7: What is your dream job, and why?

Keep in mind, that this is my dream job, so it is not realistic.

I think that many people would probably say that their dream job would be something that would make them oodles of money, but not for me, especially considering that the career path that I have chosen is in the education field. With that in mind, I would have to say that my dream job is teaching. Probably 4th grade. Enter the dream part: a classroom filled with every teaching tool I could possibly use (computers, manipulatives, useful textbooks, etc.) and a student body that is eager to learn and that is well-behaved. A classroom that is full of adorable brown, purple, green, pink, and blue decorations, all coordinating. Everything organized. Kick butt lesson plans. Parents that understand that I am only one person and cannot achieve one-on-one with every child in the classroom. An awesome principal.

To some of you it may sound crazy, but when I am teaching, I know that is where I am supposed to be. So, there you have it; my dream job. What other job gives you 2 months off in the summer, 2 weeks at Christmas, time at Thanksgiving (at least 3 days), a week in the spring, and every weekend off?!? :-)

"Teaching is the greatest act of optimism."

An experience that forever changed my life

So, I am really bad at remembering to post (hints the week between them).. Guess I am going to have to set a reminder in my NEW phone. I did have AT&T and as a graduation gift, my brother was paying for the service for my phone until the contract is up, but it was up before he even offered and he wouldn't let me pay, so I got my own service and a brand spankin' new phone this weekend. I finally got my old number switched over and figured out how to connect to 3G so I can use the internet and all that fun stuff on it. I am super excited about it!

This week is Spring Break and I took the week off from my other job, so I am enjoying a week of no obligations except to make sure no one steals my niece. :-)

Continuing with my List that will probably take me forever and a day to finish, here is numero 6: The hardest thing you have ever experienced.

This one is both easy and difficult for me to answer because I can think of a couple of different events in my life that would constitute as pretty damn hard to deal with; for all purposes of choosing only one, I will definitely have to go with losing my Gma. I still remember the details of that terrible weekend as if it just happened...
On October 14,2009, my Gma had knee replacement surgery and when I saw her two days later, she was perfectly fine. We were planning on baking for Christmas and she asked me to look for those little treat boxes the next time I went to Michael's. My mom asked me to stay the night with Gma, but she said that she was fine and would call the boys (my brother and cousin were living with her) if she needed any help, so after hanging out for about an hour, I left to go about with my Friday night. I happened to go to Michael's that night so I called her to tell her I had found the boxes. We talked for a few minutes and then said bye. Little did I know that this would be the last phone conversation that I would ever have with my Gma. The next day while I was on my way to a friend's baby shower, my brother called to tell me that he had called 911 and they were taking Gma to the hospital, fearing that she had a stroke sometime during the night or early morning. I was assured that everything would be fine and was told to go on with my day; I would get a phone call if anything changed. So, I went to the baby shower and visited with my friend whom I hadn't seen in years. After the shower, my mom picked me up and we went to the hospital, where we had to scrub down, put on shoe covers and bio-hazard suits (long story!) in order to enter the room. Even though my Gma was out of it, she recognized me and I assured her that she was special because I wouldn't have worn that get-up for just anyone. I think she might have even laughed. Well, I had to be at work the next morning, so Mom and I stayed for a little bit and then she took me home. While at work the next day, I got a phone call from my mom that Gma was going to have surgery to remove a large piece of her intestines because they were severely infected. I took the call at the phone behind the customer service desk and could barely keep myself together long enough to get into the hallway where no one could see me break down. I felt helpless but was able to compose myself with the help of a friend. My manager tried to let me leave, but I decided to keep myself occupied at work and would go to the hospital after my shift. When I arrived, the room was filled with my family: Mom, my sister and brothers, aunts, cousins. Everyone was there. We were all playing the waiting game. After the surgery was over, we learned that the doctors had removed several feet of Gma's intestines; the max. amount that could be removed and they still be functional. The doctors were stabilizing Gma, so we would have to wait to see her. Eventually, it started getting late so people started leaving, until it was my Aunt Missy, my sister Becci, and my brother Brian. We made an attempt to get comfortable in the small waiting room by pulling chairs together and spreading out on the floor, but it didn't quite work out the way we wanted it to. At some point, the doctor came to talk to us and tell us what was going on; Gma had a small heart attack (seems like an oxymoron to me!) and they were trying to stabilize her. After the doctor left, we tried for a little while longer to get some sleep, but still weren't successful. I think I was the first one to leave, around 4:00 in the morning. I went home and called out for work for the next day, Monday October 19. I slept for a few hours and then I went back to the hospital to wait with my family. Eventually a doctor came out and told us that it was not looking good for Gma. We were basically told that she was not going to make it, and the family made the decision to  take her off of life support. We all had time to say our good-byes and then surrounded my Gma, holding hands and singing Amazing Grace while we waited for her heart to stop. I was holding Gma's hand and couldn't let go, even after her heart stopped and my Gpa took her home with him. My niece (7 at the time) asked to see Gma, so I took her back, after explaining that Gma didn't look like herself because she had been through so much. As I held my niece in my arms, she asked me how Gma got to Heaven, since her body was still with us. I explained to here that what we see is just Gma's body, but what we love about Gma, her soul, was in Heaven with Gpa. Explaining that to her broke my heart, but she really did understand what I was saying. I remember at one point, after everyone had left Gma's room, my mom and my aunt were talking to the doctor in the hallway and I walked up to my mom, buried my face against her and lost it. I felt like a child, wanting to be held by my mommy, but I knew that she would make me feel better. And she did. She held me in her arms until I was "ok."

The next few days were spent making arrangements, creating a picture board and slideshow to celebrate the wonderful that my Gma was, and writing her a letter to be buried with her. She was buried with letters from the older grandkids as well as her daughters, and pictures from the younger ones. On her headstone is one of her favorite quotes, by Thomas Jefferson: "I cannot live without books." She was laid to rest beside my Gpa on October 23, 2009; one month before their 52 wedding anniversary. Not a day goes by that I do not think of my Gma, and some days I find it hard to remember her voice, but I know that she is always watching over me, and that brings a dose of comfort to my heart. I keep a picture of me with her and Gpa at my high school graduation party; I was the last one of the family to have both of them at my graduation.

Now that I have myself crying, I am going to say that is all for this post. Goodnight blog world! <3

5 Happy Things

So I decided to clear my browsing history on my computer and just spend almost 20 minutes trying to log back into my blog because I couldn't remember which e-mail address I used because I set it up with an AOL e-mail. Sheesh! Anyway, my sister and I got an elliptical last week and I tried it out for the first time today, and holy bejeezus were my legs feeling the burn! It came free from my brother and they lost the power cord when they moved, so I am not sure how far I "went" but I worked out for about 45 minutes! I will probably really feel it tomorrow while I am walking around the aquarium with my Kindergarteners, but it is so worth it! Remember how in my first post I talked about not being able to lose weight, even though I am exercising and eating healthy?!? Well, everyone in my family that I talk to is convinced that I have something wrong with my thyroid (thyroid disease does run in my family) so I am going to try to get an appointment to get it checked out. Once I get that figured out, hopefully this whole weight loss thing will come a little easier, so I don't feel so discouraged.

On another note, I am going to continue with The List, and I am also going to continue to jump around. This time, I am going to numero 5 because it's my favorite number.

5. What are 5 things that make you most happy right now?

Otay, here goes...

1. Being single and not taking care of someone else.

2.  Moving to Texas this summer!!!!

3. Teaching.

4. My amazing family and friends that have been there for me, even when I went through a period of stupid decisions.

5. Skype.

Alright, there you have it; my list of 5 things that make me happy these days. There are a few more, but these are the first things that popped into my head. Mostly, I am happy with my decision to get out of a relationship that was sending me into depression and causing me to lose myself. I didn't realize just how unhappy I was until I stepped away from the situation. And, even though that decision led me to being single for the first time in almost 6 years, I am enjoying every minute of it! Remember that no relationship is worth losing your happiness.

Report Cards, Strep Throat, and Pollen, Oh My!

Is it Friday yet?!? This week has been crazy between report cards and strep throat going around my classroom. Not to mention the ridiculous amounts of pollen in the air the last couple of days has been off the charts, so some students have stayed inside because of allergies. I was at work until 5 yesterday trying to finish up report cards (I usually leave around 3-3:30) and still had more to finish today! But, I finally got them all done and they went home with the little darlings this afternoon. I was on my own for dinner tonight so I decided to take over the grill and made hamburgers with Dale's steak sauce, salt & pepper, and cooked asparagus in a foil packet with butter and Parmesan cheese.. yummy! I think I cooked the asparagus a little too long, so it wasn't crunchy, but it still tasted good. :-)

Now that report cards are done and I can take a breath, I am going to continue The List...

The List, Day 2:

Technically, the second item is 3 legitimate fears that you have, but I will have to think on that and come back to it, so I am going to skip around to number 4: 10 things you would tell your 16 year old self. I am changing this from 16 year old self to just younger self. Here goes...

1. Stay involved in high school
2. Don't be so afraid to screw up!
3. Tell him you have a crush on him and don't be embarrassed when someone else does
4. Stay in Valdosta.
5. Participate in more college activities
6. Take care of yourself first
7. You can't fix everyone
8. Stand up for yourself
9. Stay at home and save up for a few more months before moving out
10. Have fun!

What would you tell your younger self?

I'm a Survivor

Happy Friday! Today was a crazy day in Kindergarten, and I survived so I am rewarding myself with a glass of wine and sushi later. Wine now; sushi later. I really need to work out but am not feeling motivated today, even though it is really pretty outside right now. But, it does keep doing this freak showers that last all of five minutes, so maybe it's better that I not try to go for a run because knowing my luck it will start again as soon as I get out there. Yep, I think I will just enjoy my wine right now and go for a walk later. I have also decided that I am going to start working on The List that I posted the other day, so here goes:

The List, Day 1
20 Random Facts:

1. It annoys me when people who don't know me call me Vikki or Tori. These names are reserved for only certain people.

2. My favorite color is pink.

3. I am very family-oriented.

4. When I have my own classroom, I want either black and white or brown with pink, blue, green, and purple.

5. I am an organization freak.

6. My closet is color-coded by the rainbow, starting with white and ending with gray. Short sleeve shirts are usually in front of long sleeve shirts.

7. I enjoy scrapbooking and arts & crafts.

8. Before I die I will visit Paris, Ireland, Greece, and Italy.

9. This summer, I am spreading my wings all the way to Texas. I am super nervous and excited at the same time!

10. It drives me nuts when hangers are hung backwards!

11. I have a yearbook from all 13 years that I was in school.

12. I love teaching!

13. I forgot how freeing it is to be single.

14. When I go to a restaurant, I clean up after myself by (usually) stacking dishes and wiping down the table with my napkin.

15. I have around 30 pairs of shoes.

16. I own a Rubber Maid container full of purses.

17. I love to shop!

18. I have visited 30-something of the 50 United States.

19. I like to go camping.

20. I find trucks, cowboy boots, motorcycles, and tattoos (not too many, though) seriously sexy.

The List

Otay, so here is the dill pickles... I have been on my track to "weight loss/getting in shape" for about two months now and despite drinking anywhere between 3 and 6 bottles of H2O every day, cutting way back on junk food and sugary stuff (which is super hard because I have a ginormous sweet tooth), doing thirty minutes to an hour of cardio 3-4 times a week, and getting at least seven hours of sleep, the scale is not budging after my initial 5 pounds in the first couple of weeks. Before you give me the whole "muscle weighs more than fat" stuff, let me just say that is not the case here! I am starting to feel discouraged because I am not seeing results.. And not to mention that bathing suit season is right around the corner, and I really want to feel confident in a bikini again this year. Ugh!

On another note, I found this on Pinterest (I am totally addicted!) and think it is something that I am going to do:

THE LIST:

1. List 20 random facts about yourself.
2. Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and explain how they became fears.
3. Describe your relationship with your parents.
4. List 10 things you would tell your 16 year-old self, if you could.
5. What are the 5 things that make you most happy right now?
6. What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?
7. What is your dream job, and why?
8. What are 5 passions you have?
9. List 10 people who have influenced you and describe how.
10. Describe your most embarrasing moment.
11. Describe 10 pet peeves you have.
12. Describe a typical day in your current life.
13. Describe 5 weaknesses you have.
14. Describe 5 strengths you have.
15. If you were an animal, what would you be and why?
16. What are your 5 greatest accomplishments?
17. What is the thing you most wish you were great at?
18. What has been the most difficult thing you have had to forgive?
19. If you could live anywhere, where would it be and why?
20. Describe 3 significant memories from your childhood.
21. If you could have one superpower, what would it be and what would you do with it first?
22. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 15 years?
23. List your top 5 hobbies and why you love them.
24. Describe your family dynamic of your childhood vs. your family dynamic now.
25. If you could have dinner with anyone in history, who would it be and what would you eat?
26. What popular notion do you think the world has most wrong?
27. What is your favorite part of your body and why?
28. What is your love language?
29. What do you think people misundertand most about you?
30. List 10 things you would hope to be remembered for.

Total Props go to http://cherishinghopesanddreams.blogspot.com/2012/01/30-things.html for this list!

Hello Blog World!

Hello world! For those of you that don't already know me, here is a little bit about me:
I recently earned my bachelor's degree in Elementary and Early Childhood Education (Pre-K through 5th grade) and have a part-time teaching gig in kindergarten. I spend 7 hours a day with 21 five and six year-old kids. Most people think that I am crazy when I tell them what I have chosen as my profession, but when I am teaching, I know that is what I am supposed to do. I recently ended a long-term relationship and am taking a journey to find myself again. With the help of my amazing friends and family, I am off to a successful start. I found a quote today that pretty much sums it all up: " Past experiences make you realize how much greater your life is now." I knew that I was unhappy, but didn't truly understand to what extent until I started living for myself again. I was spending so much time trying to "fix" him that I lost my own happiness and scarred relationships with some of the people that mean the most to me. I have made a promise to myself that I will never put someone else's happiness ahead of my own. As a person that tends to be drawn to people that need help, that is definitely a goal that I am going to have to make a conscience effort to achieve!

So, why did I decide to start a blog?

I have been thinking about starting a blog for a while now, and finally decided to jump on the bandwagon after my best friend, Liza, started hers (http://breadcrumbstohealth.blogspot.com/). We are both trying to eat healthier and get in shape, and since we are temporarily in different states, I figured we could motivate each other through our blogs, instead! I am new to this blog thing, unless you count keeping up with MySpace in middle/high school, so thanks for bearing with me and following my journey! <3